So 2011 is almost over!  I do hope it’s been a good year for you.  I’ve been looking back at the goals I set myself for 2011 and I am pleased with how I’ve done in general.  I think I’m going to call 2011 the Year of Moving On.

Don’t get me wrong I haven’t done everything on my list, but then a couple of things that were important this time last year, became less important as the year went on.  That’s life isn’t it.  One important step with goal setting is being flexible and reviewing goals regularly to check they are still as relevant to you as when you set them.

But 2012 is going to bring new changes for me and what I am doing.  As many of you may know I’ve decided to take Just Imagine Coaching in a slightly different direction which means I am going to focus most of my energy (but don’t worry I’m not leaving anyone out) on working with women whose families are moving on, just as mine has in 2011. This will be the last Extreme Self Care blog as a result.

My new web site has been launched and although it’s not 100% finished I would be interested to hear what you think of it.  You can find it at www.womenonhold.com.

But enough about me, it’s time for the end of year review for us all.  So stop for a few minutes and consider the following questions. I’d really recommend taking note of your answers so that you can look back at them in December 2012.

REVIEW OF THE YEAR

1. 2011… was the year you did what/the year of…..?

2. What was your greatest lesson in 2011?

3. What are you most proud of achieving in 2011?

4. If you could repeat 2011 – what would you do differently?

5. If you could create a theme for 2012 – what would it be? (peace? fun? freedom?)

6. In 40 years time, how do you want to remember 2012? As the year you did what?

7. What three things can you do to set yourself up to succeed in 2012?

8. How could you sabotage yourself and how will you stop?

9. What would you have to believe about yourself and the world to have a great 2012?

10. What baby steps can you take in January 2012 to start the year with a flourish?

Happy New Year to everyone and keep up the Extreme Self Care as often as you can

best wishes

Liz x

Last week I recommended a book to you called The Alchemist by Paul Coelho.  So I thought this week I would give you some quotes from the book which might help with your search for a hidden passion for our challenge this month.

“Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second’s encounter with God and with eternity.”  

“All you have to do is contemplate a simple grain of sand, and you will see in it all the marvels of creation. Listen to your heart. It knows all things, because it came from the Soul of the World, and it will one day return there.” 

“Remember that wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure.”

“You’ve got to find the treasure, so that everything you have learned along the way can make sense.”

I hope you are enjoying the treasure hunt and that you are still finding time to practice Extreme Self-Care in the madness that is Christmas!

best wishes

Liz

So this month in her book The Art of Extreme Self-Care, Cheryl Richardson has challenged us to re-discover a hidden passion that we have.  I wonder how you have been getting on remembering /uncovering/ reawakening your own hidden passion?

If you are struggling to work it out why not go on a ‘treasure hunt’ around your home.  Before you set off have a think about what you love to see, hear, touch, taste or smell.  Perhaps this will give you a clue.

Then as you go through the next 7 days, keep you eyes open for a symbol or object that might help you discover the hidden passion.  Cheryl Richardson found for herself that a hat she saw in a shop and kept returning to look at was the clue to her hidden passion for fashion and design.

While you do this challenge remember, as with all aspects of Extreme Self-Care, it’s not that you are going to stop everything else and just concentrate on your newly awakened passion.  It’s about finding enough time in your routine to honour how you feel about whatever it is and then doing something on a regular basis to fuel your passion; even if this can only be for 5 minutes a week.

If you are still struggling, this website has a list of great of resources you might like to look at http://findingyourpassion.org/.  Another thing you could use is  abook called The Alchemist, by Paul Coelho.  Its a fable about staying true to your dreams.  It might be just the thing to remind you about your hidden passions?

So once you have found your passion, the challenge for the rest of the month is to identify 3 small things you could do to pursue your desire further AND to schedule a time to do these even in the busy-i-ness called the Christmas Holidays!  Remember if you can’t think of anything you could do you can always ask your friends what they think you could do. Or add a comment at the bottom of the blog and ask those of us reading.

Anyway, have a good week

Best wishes

Liz

All men dream but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity; but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open eyes to make it possible.
T.E. Lawrence

As you probably know, this month we are thinking about our hidden passions.  Things that we used to do, that made our hearts sing, but that we don’t do any longer.  I thought this quote from T.E. Lawrence summed up why it is good to act out our dreams.  So what is it that you are dreaming of doing?  Why not open your eyes, take action and make it possible!

Have a great week

best wishes

Liz

As the nights draw in and we get ever closer to the Christmas holidays, we are going to spend some time re-introducing into our lives, things that we once loved doing, but for some reason or other we haven’t done for a while.

Do you know the things I mean?

They are usually things we loved doing as kids.  Perhaps something creative such as painting, pottery etc.  Or perhaps dancing or singing.  Alternatively it might be going to see live theatre or music.

There are so many things that we stop doing as adults that once made our hearts sing when we weren’t as rushed and busy as adults tend to be.

Whatever it is, this month the challenge set for us by Cheryl Richardson in her book The Art of Extreme Self-Care, is to ‘Discover a Hidden Passion’.

I think this is a great challenge for this usually very busy month, as it is not too hard to do.  To start with all you need to do is spend some time thinking of what it is you don’t do anymore!  Perhaps looking through some old photos or stuff in the attic, might help you remember. Or perhaps you know anyway!

Once you’ve decided what it is, we’ll move on to finding ways to bring it back into your life.  But don’t worry about that for now, concentrate on working out what you hidden passion is.

We all deserve to follow our passions at least some of the time, and that is at the heart of Extreme Self-Care.  Perhaps you can’t follow them every day, or even every week, but you can to choose to make them important in your life and follow your passions more often than you do today.

I thought this quote from someone who followed his passions,  sums it all up very well:

“Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” ~ Steve Jobs, Apple Founder

Hope you have a good week and enjoy re-finding that hidden passion of yours.  Can’t wait to hear all about it!

best wishes

Liz

I have really been enjoying the autumn colours of the leaves near my home this week.  Most of them have fallen down now but they are such beautiful colours don’t you think!

As you probably know by now our challenge from The Art of Extreme Self-Care by Cheryl Richardson, this month is all about anger.

We looked firstly at how important it is to deal with anger inappropriately directed at you.  Then last week we looked at the importance of restraint.  So when I found this quote from Marcus Aurelius Antoninus, a Roman Emperor who lived from 161-180 AD it seemed very appropriate:-

The best way of avenging thyself is not to become like the wrong-doer.

Clearly the Emperor was probably talking about more than anger when he said it, but remember the power of restraint in situations and don’t risk becoming the wrong doer!

Have a good week

best wishes

Liz

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So we are already half way through the month of November.  How have you been getting on with dealing better with anger?  It’s not easy is it.  But remember habits are very easy to start and tough to break!  The goal is to speak up for yourself, rather than swallowing the anger you feel.  Perhaps you can’t do it every time, but remember each time you do it’s a victory and a step in the right direction.

For the rest of the month, we are going to be considering ‘The Power of Restraint‘.  As Cheryl Richardson says in her book The Art of Extreme Self-Care:

‘What do you do when your buttons get pushed and you’re tempted to fly off the handle and be rude yourself?  How do you practice Extreme Self-Care when you want to strangle the person?  The goal is to keep your self-respect intact.’

There are times in life where something happens which makes your blood boil.  I’m not talking about those times when your anger is totally justified, but those times when something else is going on inside you and actually a healthy dose of restraint (or silence) would be the best course of action.

You’ll know you’ve got to a time when you need to practice restraint because some of the following is going on inside

• You recognise you are feeling an anger disproportional to the situation
• You just know you’re going to say something you’ll probably regret
• You can’t think straight
• You feel like verbally letting rip

It’s all about the times when your buttons get pressed by something or someone.  But it’s really important that while you express your anger, you do so in a way that wont just make things worse.

So the challenge for the rest of the month is to practice restraint by:

1. Closing your eyes and taking a few deep breaths before you do anything.
2. Find someone you trust to listen and not just egg you on, and vent to them
3. Get as much information as possible before you do or say anything~ it’s always possible you’ve misunderstood something.  Get the facts before you act!
4. Find a way to have a calm conversation with the other person, where you let them know how you feel.  Speak from “I” and avoid “you said/did” etc.

Anger is a really difficult subject and can cause all sorts of problems in relationships especially.  It’s important, as we discussed a couple of weeks ago, to express it when appropriate.  But it’s just as important to practice some restraint and NOT express it at times too.

Have a great week

best wishes

Liz

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.

~~ Buddha

This month our challenge from Cheryl Richardson’s book The Art of Extreme Self-Care is about dealing with anger.  Last week I asked you to think about the times when you swallow your anger in a situation.  So when I found this quote from Buddha it seemed to ask exactly the right question:

Why are you holding on to a ‘hot coal’ when it’s your hand that will be most likely to get burnt by it? 

Swallowing the anger you feel is just like a self inflicted burn.  You don’t want to do that to yourself surely?  I suggest you find a way to leave the coal in the flames if you can, and if for some reason it comes out, pour cold water all over it before it hurts anyone.

Have a great week

best wishes

Liz

In October we were practising Extreme Self-Care by looking after our bodies better.  I do hope you found it beneficial and I look forward to hearing more about your experiences.  Now in November we are going to look at the sometimes difficult subject : ANGER.

Be honest with yourself, how often do you swallow the anger you are feeling in a given situation and say nothing?  For example if someone says something inappropriate do you find yourself swallowing your feelings and saying nothing?  Usually when that happens to me, I end up getting really cross with myself later on when I think of all the things I should or could have said!

If you think about it, often what is happening is you are swallowing the anger and allowing a desire to avoid conflict or protect someone else’s feelings to take precedence.  It’s not healthy to do this all the time.  The anger builds up over time and can become very destructive.

There are usually a variety of reasons why you keep quiet but as Cheryl Richardson says in her book The Art of Extreme Self-Care

There are few things that will erode self-esteem more quickly than tolerating inappropriate behaviour.

So for the next few weeks I would like you to practice these 4 things, when confronted by anger inappropriately directed at you

1. Stop and acknowledge what’s happened
2. Take a deep breath and say, as gracefully as you can, what you think about it
3. Express your feelings as simply as you can and state what you want to happen
4. Walk away if necessary

Don’t worry about getting it right every time, you’re only human and that’s how we learn.  Just keep on practising.  No one has the right to off load their frustration, stress or ‘bad day’ on you.  Protect yourself from this anger by saying something like “please stop, I don’t like you talking to me in that way”.

Try these strategies out and in a couple of weeks we’ll move on to look at the power of restraint.

Have a great week

best wishes

Liz 

As you know our focus this month is on looking after our bodies: Care for Your Body.  So this week I am going to ask you to consider 3 questions, then pick one and DO IT!

1. What one thing could you do this week that would make the biggest difference to your health?
2. What would be the most fun thing you could do this week that would impact positively, your overall health?
3. What might a friend or loved one suggest you should do? (If you don’t know, ask them!)

Don’t think too hard about it.  Just pick one and do it. As Lao-tzu, founder of Taoism, is supposed to have said :

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”

Have a great week

best wishes

Liz